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Mother’s Day Thoughts

May 12, 2012

There are so many times in life that we get too busy and forget to tell our parents how much they mean to us. I guess that is why Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were probably created. If we have a holiday for something we tend to take notice of it a little more. God was very specific in the way he wanted us to treat our parents.

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5:16

Anyone who attacks his father or mother is to be put to death. Exodus 21:15

Anyone who curses his father or mother is to be put to death. Exodus 21:17

A foolish man brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him. Proverbs 17:25

“For God Said, ‘Honor your father and your mother. Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” Matthew 15:4

I want my mom to know how much she means to me. I know that raising me could not have been easy and yes there were times I deserved to be put to death for the way I treated her. There have also been times when I have just plain taken her for granted. I have finally come to the point in my life that when she comes to visit, I want her to stay and I always get very melancholy after she leaves. I’m sure that she did not know that but now she does. I am very grateful that God gave me to my mother. She may not be the perfect mother but she is the perfect mother for me.

 

If you haven’t told you mother how you feel about her, today is the day to let her know that you love her and appreciate her.

 

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Insight

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Give the Bully a Bible

March 25, 2012

This week in revival my 9 year old daughter got up in front of the church and told everyone that she wanted to give the bully at school a Bible. This bully had earlier in the week kicked a ball into her face because she got him out in a game. She wanted him to know that Jesus loves him and that he can change his ways. Wow!

My daughter knows what Paul found out in the Bible. Paul (who was Saul before his encounter with Jesus) was as big bully. He went around persecuting Christians. He had them killed. He thought he was doing what was right until he had an encounter with Jesus on the Damascus Road. Through his experience he learned that Jesus loved even a terrible bully like he was and He had a plan for Saul to become Paul and be one of the leading disciples.

Acts 22

1 “Brothers and fathers, listen now to my defense.”
2 When they heard him speak to them in Aramaic, they became very quiet.

Then Paul said: 3 “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. I studied under Gamaliel and was thoroughly trained in the law of our ancestors. I was just as zealous for God as any of you are today. 4 I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison, 5 as the high priest and all the Council can themselves testify. I even obtained letters from them to their associates in Damascus, and went there to bring these people as prisoners to Jerusalem to be punished.

6 “About noon as I came near Damascus, suddenly a bright light from heaven flashed around me. 7 I fell to the ground and heard a voice say to me, ‘Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me?’

8 “‘Who are you, Lord?’ I asked.

“ ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting,’ he replied. 9 My companions saw the light, but they did not understand the voice of him who was speaking to me.

10 “‘What shall I do, Lord?’ I asked.

“ ‘Get up,’ the Lord said, ‘and go into Damascus. There you will be told all that you have been assigned to do.’ 11 My companions led me by the hand into Damascus, because the brilliance of the light had blinded me.

12 “A man named Ananias came to see me. He was a devout observer of the law and highly respected by all the Jews living there. 13 He stood beside me and said, ‘Brother Saul, receive your sight!’ And at that very moment I was able to see him.

14 “Then he said: ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. 15 You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard. 16 And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’

17 “When I returned to Jerusalem and was praying at the temple, I fell into a trance 18 and saw the Lord speaking to me. ‘Quick!’ he said. ‘Leave Jerusalem immediately, because the people here will not accept your testimony about me.’

19 “‘Lord,’ I replied, ‘these people know that I went from one synagogue to another to imprison and beat those who believe in you. 20 And when the blood of your martyr[a] Stephen was shed, I stood there giving my approval and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him.’

21 “Then the Lord said to me, ‘Go; I will send you far away to the Gentiles.’ ”

Paul found out that God’s love is greater than our sin and that He can do amazing things through sinners.

What do we teach our children about bullying?

Bullying is a serious issue in our schools today. It happens even in kindergarten. Last year I had a teacher bring one of my students back to class because he had tried to give a “swirlie” to a 1st grader. Our children need to know how to deal with bullies.  I have tried to teach my children to try to show them God’s love first.  There are so many bullies out there who have never even heard of God or Jesus. They may have terrible home lives. They may have great and privileged lives and look down on others. Until someone shows them the love of Jesus they won’t really have a chance to change.

Another thing I try to teach my children is that even if the bully doesn’t change, they do not have the right to treat the bully badly. They can defend themselves if need be but once the immediate threat is over they must cease. Most times a bully will stop bothering a person if it is no longer fun or once they stand up for themselves. If the bully tries to bully someone and that person only shows the bully love it is no longer fun to bully that person. I also tell my children that if a bullying situation is getting out of hand they must tell an adult. I don’t want my children to tattle everytime someone hurts their feelings but if someone is becoming a serious issue than they need to let an adult handle it.

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Setting Examples

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The Best Friends

March 20, 2012

Think back to your childhood and your best childhood friend. The one you confided everything in. The one that knew you better than you knew yourself. The one that was there for you through the good times and the bad. Would you have given everything to save that person’s life? Would you have laid down your own life to save that person?

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13

These are the words of Jesus when He was speaking to His  Disciples shortly before His death. Was Jesus simply saying that friendships are very important and you should think more of your friends than yourself?

I don’t think so. I read these scriptures today at the request of James Pool. He is leading revival at the church that I attend. I had an “Aha!” moment while reading these passages:

John 15:11-17
New King James Version (NKJV)

11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.17 These things I command you, that you love one another.”

Whoa! Wait a minute. Did He say what I think He said? He said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” and then He said, You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.” Hmmm. So He was telling His disciples what was to come once again. He was saying it right to their faces and I am sure like me they didn’t get it the first time. He was saying that He loved them so much as His friends that He was about to lay down His life for them. All He asked in return was that they be obedient to Him. He was calling them His friends and telling them that He chose them to do great things in His name. Oh, how I wish that I had been one of them. Wait a minute. That’s right, I am! We as Christians are His friends and disciples. He called us to do His work and He died on the cross for us. All He asks in return is that we be obedient to Him.

If you want to know more about James Pool and his work look at http://www.lifeaction.org and http://www.onecry.com/

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Teaching your children to have the right friendships

March 8, 2012

I guess I thought that since people read my blog about Christian Family Values they are probably plugged into a church somewhere. I realized after reading other blogs of people who have come to my site that maybe I was wrong.

Just the other day another blogger visited my blog and liked my post.I honestly don’t know if he is a believer or not. I went to his blog and started reading and ended up subscribing to it. He is a stay at home dad and his blog is http://www.beingthebestdad.com  His article today was about how alone he feels in his circumstances. His really good friends do not live near him. His and his wife’s families are scattered around the country. His friends from work are not close to him. I don’t know if he goes to church and just hasn’t made the right connections there yet. He was wanting advice on how to reach out to people to give his child a sense of family and community. I felt the need to respond to him and I did so but what I realized is that there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way. Here is the response that I gave him:

I have gone through the same thing. I lived in a large city growing up then moved to a small town in Kentucky. Everyone knows everyone here. You would think that would make it easy to make friends. Wrong! Everyone had their childhood friends already. It was very hard to break into the tight knit community. Let me say that my husband grew up here and had his group of friends but all of the wives had their own friends already. What finally helped me was getting into church regularly. We started attending church and started attending Sunday School. That is where the true friendships have grown. My class really talks about the Bible lessons and we pray about family problems together. We talk about good times and bad times. The bonus is that churches have nurseries that will take care of your precious bundle of joy. Most of these nurseries are staffed by older women who just love babies. You said you wanted your child to have family. Our church has become our extended family. Our children feel safe and secure and loved by everyone there. it really does take a village to raise a child and you will have the support that you need as you continue to adjust to staying home. The best part is that by attending church you will be teaching your child the values that are central to having a good foundation. God is the answer to everything and the right start for children and families is found in His house.

I cannot tell you how important it has been for my family to be in church. Church helps us to teach our children the way that they should behave. It helps us to teach our children to give. It helps us to teach our children to have compassion for others. It teaches our children that even we as their parents are sinners but God forgives us if we ask Him to. It gives our children a friend base that allows them to talk about God and not feel self conscious. When our children were little it gave them surrogate grandparents, aunts and uncles in the nursery. It gives them other Christian adults to go to to ask advice when they don’t feel like they can come to us. There are so many other things that I could probably sit here all night and write about.

The Bible gives many scriptures about fellowship with other Christians:

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren
to dwell together in unity!”
Psalm 133:1

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Hebrews 10:24-25

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”
1 John 1:7

All of those verses are great but they cannot fully describe what it has meant to me to have the church family that I now have.

I am not saying that everyone you meet in the church is going to be perfect. Lord knows no one is perfect. We go to church to worship God and to revive ourselves and remind ourselves of the sacrifice Jesus made for us and remind us how we should strive to live. We go to church to be with other people who will love us in our imperfection just as Jesus did when He died on the cross for us.

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Setting Examples

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Take up the Cross

March 6, 2012

How could I have never noticed this before? We were in church Sunday night and heard a message about taking up your cross to follow Jesus. What I had never realized before was that Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34. Did you realize that he said this before he was ever sent to the cross? I guess I really knew that but I didn’t realize the implication that he had not yet gone and he was talking about carrying the cross for him when He was about to take up the cross for us. You see God will never ask us to do something that He himself is not willing to do for us. Jesus bore the sins of all of us on the cross. He had to watch His Father turn away from Him. He endured torture and cruelty beyond measure and we have a hard time telling others about Him. He stands before His Father and tells His Father that even though a sinner deserves to go to never ending agony in Hell He must let Him into Heaven because the sinner believed in Jesus and asked Him into his heart.

The speaker really made me realize that taking up the cross is not just having a burden that you must bear like an illness. It is something that you have to CHOOSE TO DO FOR GOD. It must be something that costs us physically or emotionally. What I mean is teaching a Sunday School class would be considered taking up the cross, putting up with noisy children in the congregation is not. Taking meals to families in need is taking up the cross. Listening to a wife who is thinking of divorcing her husband and giving Godly advice while being there for her emotionally as well as physically is taking up the cross.Going out of your way to bring children or others to church even when it is really not convenient is taking up the cross. There are so many ways that we can do things for others for the glory of God. That is what it means to take up the cross.

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Another School Shooting :(

February 27, 2012

If you aren’t aware of what happened earlier today here is a link. http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-terror-ohio-shooting-20120227,0,5579788.story

Basically there was a school shooting in Ohio today. Some students say that the perpetrator was an outcast. When will bullying stop? The school I work in has posters made by children all over the wall of the hallways. The National Children’s Ministry Day I just took kids to was all about bullying. People try to teach children about the dangers of bullying and it still occurs. Honestly, I was bullied as a child. I was bullied by kids who teased me because my daddy was the town drunk, because I didn’t have nice clothes, because I missed a lot of school to help my mom with my brother and sister, etc. Luckily, I had a strong Christian base to anchor myself to. I had Jesus and that made all of the difference in the world. What other people said about me didn’t matter (even though it did hurt a little) because I knew God had a plan for me. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.

In a country where approximately 90% of people claim to be Christians we ought to be able to put a big dent in the bullying problem just by reading the Bible to our children.  Here are some reference verses to get you started:

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:29-32

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Psalm 34:13

Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Hebrews 13:1

Dear friends, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born again because of what God has done. That person knows God. 1John 4:7

But here is what I tell you. Love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you. Matthew 5:44

I give a new command. Love one another. You must love one another, just as I have loved you. John 13:34

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. 
   And what does the LORD require of you? 
To act justly and to love mercy 
   and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we should also love one another. 1John 4:11

Forgive people when they sin against you. If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. James 4:11

Those who make peace should plant peace like a seed. If they do, it will produce a crop of right living. James 3:18

These verses not only teach children and adults not to bully they also teach them how to deal with bullies. As Christians we are to love everyone whether they love us back or not. Just as our Father in heaven loves us even when we don’t show Him love back.

Lord knows its not easy. Boy, does He! There are so many ways that we hurt Him everyday. But He still loves us back! That is what we need to teach our children!

He is a great video to watch with your children too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVTeIMursb8&ob=av3e

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Setting Examples, Teaching Forgiveness

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Awesome Responsibility

February 15, 2012

As parents and teachers we have an awesome responsibility to not only raise our children but to teach them God’s word and ways.

Have you ever noticed that when you get frustrated with your child he or she seems to get more and more frustrated with you as well? Or that if you start to raise your voice your child starts to raise his or her voice too? Children learn the way to respond by watching YOU. The major learning theorists seem to agree and all talk about modeling the behaviors we want our children to exhibit.

Romans 2:21-23

21 you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? 22You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? 23You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law.

 

Evidently the theorists agree with the Bible or the Bible agrees with the theorists whichever you choose to believe.

My husband has really started to dig into the Bible lately. It is very frequent that I come onto the living room and find him studying the Bible. What I find fascinating is that our children are starting to do more Bible study and reading as a result. My husband also started watching old episodes of Happy Days. Now my 11 year old son and 9 year old daughter think it’s a great show. They have even started watching The Brady Bunch and The Lone Ranger. It just goes to show that by my husband modeling behaviors the children have picked up it and automatically without even thinking about it started doing the same kinds of things.

So, if you want your child to read the Bible, start reading the Bible. If you want your child to clean the house, set a time for everyone to do their chores and do them together. If you want your child to watch family oriented shows watch them yourself. If you want your child to make his bed, make yours. If you want your child to let you know what time he will be home, let him know what time you are coming home. If you want your child to call you when he’s out and let you know how things are going, call him when you are out. If you want your child to pray more often, let him see you pray more often. Get the picture?

It has really gotten me thinking about bad behaviors too.

A book I am currently reading says that children learn to distinguish between lenient and strict teachers by observing the way that they react to the misbehavior of risk taking children. (Boyd & Bee, 2010) They say that the children recognize that the strict teachers react in a negative way thus keeping the observant child from acting out but the lenient teachers have problems out of even the observant children because they recognize that they can get away with more.

I believe that the same holds true for parents. If a parent reacts in a very strict way at the first offense the second offense is likely not to happen. If a parent reacts in a very accepting and lenient way the behavior is likely to continue.

So, what should we do about bad behaviors?

First, we must not me guilty of the behaviors we do not want in our children!!!

Second, we must not let them think that the behaviors are ok, thus, we must discipline.

Proverbs 3:11-12

11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.

Proverbs 13:23-24

24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

I do not have it in me to go out and cut a switch every time my child does something wrong (even though sometimes I think they deserve it!) but I do believe in punishment. I like to use punishments that make them stronger not tear them down. I believe that the punishment should fit the crime. I also believe that punishment is not effective without talking about the offense later and explaining why what they did was wrong. Honestly, in the heat of the moment has never worked for me for explaining the offense and getting a positive reaction from my kids. If we talk about it after they have had time to cool down then the outcome is always much better.

Here are some examples of punishments that I and my husband have used. My two youngest children fight constantly and when it comes to a head I make them stand in the middle of the living room and hold hands. My oldest once forgot to pay for an item at the store. I handed him the money and told him to go back in and tell the cashier and pay for it. My oldest is very stubborn therefore, his stubbornness combined with Push-up position made him into a very strong young man. (Have you ever tried to stay in the up position for more than a minute?) Standing on tiptoes in the corner works well for calf muscles. Wanna teach your stubborn child to read a clock? Sit them down in a chair and tell them to watch the clock until it gets to a certain time and then they can get up.

These are just some examples but you get the picture. We all want our children to grow into adults that are responsible members of the community and to respect us. If that is what we truly want then we must step up to the plate and demand it.

Joyce

Reference

Boyd, D. and Bee, H. (2010) Theories of Development. The Growing Child 2, 35

 

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Making God Your Best Friend

February 11, 2012

We have started having a group of kids over to our house every other Friday night for Bible study and outdoor activities. Last night was the first night and boy was is cold. The Bible study was about getting to know God better. My husband read the story of David an Goliath. He told the kids that David was not afraid to go up against Goliath because he “knew” God. He knew that God was there with him and that He would protect him.

We asked the kids how they could be closer to God. One of the kids raised his hand and said, “Make Him your best friend.”

That is exactly right. Satan knows who God is. He knows the Bible better than most Christians do. We have to have a personal relationship with God. I don’t mean read the Bible for 15 minutes in the morning and say prayers 3 times a day and you’re good.

Think of it like this. A new person comes to school and you introduce yourself. You talk to that person several times a day. You might even hang out at the same places. But until you take the time to really sit down and talk to that person and hang out with that person you don’t really know that person.

With God its the same thing. You can read His book and know what it says. You can go to church and pray. But until you take the time to get to know and understand His word and what it means you don’t know Him. You have to make Him your best friend. You have to talk to Him about your problems and know that He cares and will help you through. You have to trust Him to do what He says that He will do. Don’t worry about the things that seem too big to handle. Ask God to be there through it with you and whether it comes out exactly how you want it to or not you will know that it turned out the way that God planned it to and that will be enough.

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Making God Your Best Friend

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Setting Good Examples

February 4, 2012

Don’t you hate it when your husband is right? I had one of those moments this morning and my first instinct was to get defensive and mad. We were having yet another discussion about my addiction to Diet Mountain Dew. I am on a low carb diet and every morning I have Diet Mountain Dew with my breakfast while I give my family juice. I hate to admit it but I drink it as often as I can. I felt like I was doing better because I was no longer drinking the regular Mountain Dew with all of the sugar. Well, I really just traded the sugar for Apartame which I’m told just turns to formaldehyde in your body. I joked and said that they use formaldehyde to preserve bodies so I should live forever.

This morning as we sat at the table with our preacher’s daughter and my two younger children, my daughter said, “Why does mommy always get to drink Mountain Dew for breakfast and we have to have juice?” That set my husband off. He told me I was setting a bad example for the kids and he told the kids to pray for mommy that she would stop drinking it all of the time. I ended up getting defensive and making excuses about my low carb diet and gave examples of times when I drink other things (occasionally). I ended up leaving the table and going to take my shower.

As I was standing in the shower, it hit me. Start children off on the way they should go, 
and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

I always thought of that verse when I thought about teaching my kids good things like going to church and helping people. What I didn’t realize before today is that the converse is true as well. If you teach your children bad things they will not turn from them either. OUCH! That hurt. It’s amazing how when my husband chastises me, I get mad. When God chastises me, I feel like a little kid. But I now understand.

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Setting Examples

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Sibling Rivalry

February 3, 2012

Have you ever noticed that God’s often lets us know what we should do when we least expect it? I always feel like I totally expect Him to talk to me when I pray or I am reading the Word. Tonight it happened when I was singing in the car on the way home. I had this idea about an article concerning sibling rivalry the other night and then it kind of just passed out of my mind because I got busy. Then tonight I was singing praise songs in the car and it popped back into my head.

And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry and his countenance fell. Gen. 4:3-5

Now Cain talked with Abel his brother and it came to pass when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. Gen. 4:8

You might wonder why I put those scriptures in green. Because sibling rivalry is simply about jealousy. Children constantly seek more attention and want to be better than their siblings. Most times they don’t even know why. When children are very young its harder and to be honest the only thing I know to do is try to be as equal in everything as possible. When they get a little older and learn empathy you can reason with them a little more. I was fortunate that my children all went to church. My oldest and middle children are 7 years apart and didn’t really argue much. My two younger ones are only two years apart and tend to argue and fight more. So what is a parent to do?

My children are all saved. They have all asked Jesus into their hearts and lives. Ephesians 3: 14-19 says: For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I tell my children, “You have accepted Jesus into your heart and now He lives in you all of the time. Would you talk to Jesus the way you talk to each other? Would you hit Jesus the way you hit each other?” This of course gets a resounding “No!” And I tell them, “If you talk to each other like that you are talking to Jesus like that.”

This is also an important lesson for all of us. When you talk to another Christian, you are talking to another person who has Jesus living inside their heart. We all need to remember that.

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Sibling Rivalry

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